Today we got the standings for regular season play for JQBL. Your plucky heroes in pink are currently in 4th place. 4th place! Not only that, but upon reviewing the stats, we are also the only team to have a perfect attendance record. Sparey Poppins and her destructive score last week? I mean, 170 raw score?? Come ON!So our strategy remains much the same. Our first face-off is against LMB Partners. Not to talk too much shit, but seriously? One of their players showed up for 10 out of 20 games. At my school, 50% equaled an F. Sorry guy. Also, what does your name even mean? LMB? Lame Mommy Boy Partners? Or is it some allusion to boy band acronyms? Either way, weak.
How they train: not showing up to games, scoring less than 800 + handicap
How we train: duct-taping 40s to our hands, imitating cars at fast food drive-thrus, general ferocity conditioning
OK, we need to focus. Enough slander of the other team: we have to get our heads back in the game. It's sudden death, and that means no f-ing around. Seriously, its go time. We are NOT about to go out like a bunch of punks.
We have one week, I repeat, ONE WEEK, to rest, practice, pray, meditate, train, whatever. When we get back from our fatty turkey meals, there is no turning back. I love you guys; now it is time to bring home the gold.
GO OFF IN THE CORNER!
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