Positivity!

When things inexplicably seem to suck, it is time to look on the bright side and be positive.

1) The email I received from JQBL today saying that Tim Farmer and his team of losers won the bowling league. Man, that pissed me off. Looking in the bright side, however, I am not bald, and I don't wear bowling shirts from 40 years ago and think I am the shit. For this I am grateful.

2) When someone you hate emails you, not a personal email, but a forwarded joke that is not even funny. I take solace in the fact that from all evidence, they still reside outside of the state, and still have an underdeveloped sense of humor. I am further glad that my humor is not impaired.

3) Christmas is upon us and I have to buy presents. Malls are full of crazy people. I thank the inventor of the internet and online shopping. Bless you.

4) I got a new cookbook today. Food is delicious. For this, I rejoice. OK, and the fact that I can afford food. That's good. I can afford food because I have a job. Having a job is really good, plus my boss just had a baby, so maybe more time will open up so I can actually cook something out of my new cookbook. Spectacular!

Wow, I really feel much better. If you like food too, and you are someone that I don't hate, I would be happy to make you something delicious that we could share. I think my landlord is fixing my fireplace. Ooh, look, #5! Fixed fireplace for the winter! So we could have a nice little fireside dinner. Would you like that?

Did I just turn my dismal day into a holiday dinner party invite? Why yes, I think I did. Hooray for positivity!

P.S. Don't cross me today, I am in a bad mood. For my pending dinner party you can bring wine.