brace yourself: The Sobriety Manifesto!

Supportive Heathernet readers, a day you thought might never come. It is a new era, and continuing the newest phase of my life (namely, total all-encompassing maturity) I have made an important decision:


I am giving up alcohol for Lent!

Yes, everything. No beer. No wine. No vodka. (ohh, delicious vodka!) Not even soju, tho I agree, it hardly counts... Now, you may wonder, what brought on this extreme exercise in piety? Well, as much as I love Jesus, this isn't really about him. I actually don't think JC minds terribly if I have a drink; after all, you may remember him from such fame as Turning-Water-Into-Wine!, and referring to that infamous goblet of wine as "the cup of my blood". By contrast, when my blood has turned to wine, it's more in reference to my BAC rendering me incapable of operating an automobile than any sign of divinity...

I am taking a break from the sauce for reasons beyond the Catholic mandate of sacrifice for the 40 days of Lent. To me, Lent is actually providing a handy little frame of time for something I would like to try anyway: getting by without alcohol. As you may have inferred from numerous other posts on The Heathernet, I have had an intimate relationship with the drink through the years. And over that period of time, we've certainly had our ups and downs. When it's good, it's great, but when it's bad, it's very, VERY bad. Like the time I told that officer in Santa Barbara that I didn't give a Fuck if he called my parents to tell them how I was spending my college education... Or the time I very publicly yelled at a former flame and accused him of being completely devoid of feelings... Or that time in San Diego/ Las Vegas/ Yourtown, USA... see, somehow I'm not convinced I would do these things if I were sober.

I use alcohol all the time, for my social life, my love life, professionally (no, not at work - yet - but certainly networking, etc.), to relax, to improve my dancing... I just want to know I can get by without it.

Drastic? I don't think so. I'm looking forward to my experiment as a teetotaler. I hope it will bring an interesting change in perspective. I hope I can trade my hangovers for increased productivity. I hope I can save money, lose the beer gut, sleep better, and maybe, just maybe, gain some focus. But not, of course, without sacrifice...

This delightful period of time begins on Wed, Feb 21st. So if you are on the lookout for a designated driver, feel free to give me a call after that point! But not before. After all, its a 3-day weekend, and I'll probably be at the bar mentally preparing for the journey ahead. ;)