As you may already be aware, there is a huge conspiracy afoot. It has created such a stir in the public, that as we speak, protests are occurring throughout the world. This controversy has been even further mitigated by the media, and at this stage, has permeated almost every aspect of our lives: spiritual, emotional, and physical.No, kids, I'm not talking about The Da Vinci Code. There is something much more sinister at hand.
I'm talking, about JQBL playoffs.
Exhibit A:
Off in the Corner, everyone's favorite bowling squad, played a team we'll call "The Chubies" earlier this season. The Chubies showed up with two regular season players, and one substitute. Let the record show that they were playing with only 3 out of 4 players for our entire matchup. And, they were bitches. Here is a full account of that travesty.
In any case, when we wrote to the organizers of the bowling league about the injustices that had taken place that fateful night, we were met with silence. Had they no interest in justice?? This was our first clue as to the organization we were dealing with.
Exhibit B:
After the last week of regular play, Off in the Corner was informed via email that we were in 17th place and would not be making the playoffs, which was limited to the top 16 teams. So close! Understandably, we were crushed, but because we are such avid supporters of the sport and upstanding sportsmen in general, we still decided to watch some of our friends compete for the championship. Upon arriving (in our leisure clothes, as our uniforms for the season were retired) Beau Ling happened to grab a copy of last week's standings and happened to count our placement in the standings.
"1... 2... 3... 4......... uh... guys?"
"yeah?"
"uh - this says we are in 16th place."
WHAT!??????????
Oh yes, faithful supporters: it was right there in black and white. 16th place - which meant we should have been bowling at that very moment. Filled with a new deliberate rage, we scanned the lanes to see what team had somehow made it to the playoffs despite being lower in the standings. It was no other than LMB Partners, the team we beat in last season's playoffs. They were in 20th place on the scoresheet, well below our team, but somehow were duking it out for a shot at the title?? What?? Immediately, we used Pop-pins' blackberry to once again contact the organizer.
"We are upset and confused"...
His lame reply via email 30 minutes later? "LMB Partners were owed 3 points from a forfeit. Sorry for any confusion."
Yeah
Fucking
Right.
Exhibit C:
Spare-y Pop-pins' boyfriend succeeded in getting his team to the playoffs. They were matched up with TIM FARMER... and lost.
Mere coincidences? Happenstance?
I'll let you be the judge.
Seek The Truth.
